I, Brandon

Happy New Year everybody!

Myspace Graphics | New Years Images | Myspace layouts

Whhoo! Glittery MySpace graphics!

What’s that you say, it’s February?

Crap.

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I have VERY LOGICAL reasons why. And they don’t even include the fact that I’m mostly incapable of writing less than 500 words on a given topic.

We’ve been traveling. First we spent the post-holidays in Oklahoma with my family. I got to go to Pete’s Place, which is still awesome.

I was home for about 72 hours, then headed out again, this time to Anaheim to work social media at a trade show for a client. We kicked ass, trending twice on Twitter. That’s a big deal for a craft & hobby company to become such a hot topic in the midst of the Brett Favre/Purple Jesus Vikings meltdown.

On top of the travel, we began a transition to a new email server at my office. Did I mention I’m now the IT guy? You know how hard it is to transition people over, especially when some of them are used to big city-style massive IT departments? We have Macs and PCs, iPhones and Blackberrys, people using Outlook, Entourage, Mail, Thunderbird and Gmail, we have people who are in the office everyday and people who don’t even know what it looks like.

What I’m trying to say is I’ve been working essentially around the clock, and I’m tired of looking at computers.

But it’s my job, and I want to remain employed. Even if I’ve pulled out every one of my hairs and still haven’t solved all the problems.

Okay, so there’s my excuse for not posting for a while. Moving on.

This is the post I had hoped to make at the end of 2009

What a strange ten years.

My initial reaction upon looking back was to say “What a crappy ten years.” I thought about 9/11, wars, the current financial crisis, toiling for two years in the bowels of the Delta Center for basically nothing, struggling to find a job after jumping out of college, the death of my grandfather and on and on…

Then I thought about how good it was. Amazingly good, in all the ways that truly matter. I graduated college, got married and had a son. I’ve advanced in my career as a writer/PR guy/IT director, and have a home plus two vehicles.

I have nothing to whine about.

Now for the part where I stroke my own ego and share what I think was superior from the Aughts

Top Five Albums of the 00s – Not based on some artsy-fartsy trend crap, like Animal Collective, but based simply off of the albums that I listened to over and over again:

5. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
4. Kanye West – The College Dropout
3. Muse – Black Holes and Revelations
2. Radiohead – In Rainbows
1. Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf

Top Five Movies of the 00s – Again, this is what I liked, not what “advanced the art of film making” or “the movie that speaks for a generation”:

5. Pineapple Express
4. All 27 hours of the Lord of the Rings trilogy
3. O Brother Where Art Thou
2. The Kill Bills
1. The Dark Knight

The Best Oklahoma Football Teams of the 00s:

5. 2001 – Ridiculous defense, terrible offense
4. 2008
3. 2003 – Put Quentin Griffin on this team, and they destroy LSU
2. 2004 – Still don’t know what happened in the USC game
1. 2000

Politicians Who Were Corrupt and Will Continue to be:
1. All of them, stop supporting one side or the other. None of them give a damn about you until it’s time to vote. Find ways to work with people for the sake of ousting corruption, not working against people for the sake of standing behind some entitled scumbag “public servant”

Best Food I had:
5. Ganesh Indian here in Utah
4. Jambalaya on Bourbon Street
3. Red Iguana in SLC
2. Crepes in Cancun
1. Ribeyes at Joe Allen’s in Abilene

Things I’m looking forward to in the 2010s:
5. Growing my little business
4. Time Travel and Hovercraft Skateboards
3. The birth of my niece, which will be in May this year
2. By the time the decade is over Nate will be a teenager. Okay, I’m actually not looking forward to that.
1. Another child (not right now, dangit, but eventually)

Favorite screen-cap I snagged in the 00s:

Favorite screen-cap I grabbed yesterday – this kid had just committed to play football at USC and was celebrating on Twitter:

Yaaay Happy New Year!

I really only go three places during the week: My house, the gym and my office. Since I go to the gym late in the evenings the parking lot is mostly empty and I don’t have to deal with bad parking (though I have been there around noon on a summer day, and the housewife putting on makeup while on the cell with her seven kids screaming at her from the back rows can hardly be expected to steer her Armada Tank Edition between two TINY lines).

My office is a different story. For whatever reason, these people can’t seem to get it right.

Adventures in Parking, Part II (Part I here)

First up, this car gets extra space because it’s in the handicap spot. Whoo! It’s like the last bathroom stall! Truly the executive suite of parking spaces.

The trick this car pulls off is almost as bad as the four-spacer. I don’t know what to call it, but the person only managed to get about half the car in the space. Even then, he wasn’t able to get inside the lines. If we as a human race can’t achieve even the most basic principles, such as pulling our Man Moving Machines into the designated areas, then we deserve the destruction heading our way at the hands of God’s great laser beam in 2012.

Man I wish this picture was better. This is the Matrix truck driven by the she-beast. No one does more to further the art of bad parking than this woman. In this particular picture it as if she got sort of close to a parking space, and just hit the brakes right there in the middle of the driving aisle. Failing to even come close to any yellow lines? She may just be the Rosa Parks of bad parking.

The terrified bug eyed looks. The sadistic emotionless face of Ronald. The Hamburglar, who has a serious hamburger addiction issue, prepares to give in to his habit with lustful glee.

It’s not in the photo, but to the side of this scene is a river, where Grimace, pantsless as always, is attacking the fish. In other scenes, Birdie the Early Bird flies away with a chicken McNugget that is desperately reaching out for it’s mother* with tears streaming down it’s nuggety face. The mother has her own issues, as Mayor McCheese has declared her his next “intern.”

Nightmare Fuel.

Click on the pic to get a larger version. This is part of a mural painted on the walls of a McDonald’s in Sandy, Utah. A mural of terror.

*- I’ll assume it was a mother. I’m not up to speed on the sex characteristics of McNuggets. If I find something out, I will report it to you.

“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.” -Mark Twain

I’m not really into quotes. Particularly on Twitter, where they’re unavoidable. Some folks Tweet a quote out like it’s a new revelation, or the answer to some worldwide problem. My personal favorites are when people come up with a quote, then give themselves credit.

“Life’s greatest lessons can be achieved if you believe and are motivated to maximize your personal potential every day regardless of how hard the world makes it for you to succeed in life, which is in fact your goal and only your goal in the same way that the sun seeks only to give out light, radiant in it’s vibrancy and magnified by the beautiful creations God has placed before us to motivate us and achieve life’s greatest lessons.” -Brandon Carter

Shaq can get away with it, because you can imagine the big guy snickering while typing away some motivational BS. At least he’s paid to play basketball. Unlike Zig Ziglar, whose income is seemingly designed around creating inspirational quotes.

I try my hardest to be positive and see the best in each person/scenario. But like cheesy song lyrics, I can’t help but turn up the snarkometer when I see inspirational quotes from Zig or Tony Robbins.

“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” – Zig Ziglar

What the hell does this mean? Is it supposed to be as obvious as it is? Is Zig telling me that people are lazy, or is he saying I need to keep up a constant job search, even if I’m gainfully employed? Do we need to be job hunting addicts, begging for leads on the street from strangers, trading oral sex for a decent referral, breaking into houses to sneak a peek at Monster.com? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME, SENSAI?! I HAVE A NEW JOB BUT I DON’T WANT TO WORK, BECAUSE WELFARE IS AWESOME!

Why not just say “A lot of people are lazy.”

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing-that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar

We get it Zig, you got tapes and books to sell. You probably also bathe in purified holy water pulled directly from the tears of a unicorn. Daily.

Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is spent it’s gone forever.~Zig Ziglar

What about time spent with Zig Ziglar motivational products? Zig takes everything!

“Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind.” Zig Ziglar

Preferably some Zig Ziglar motivational tapes?

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. Tony Robbins

Like job searching always gets you jobs, even when you already have one? Or maybe how people start new jobs and they stop working? Wild!

Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.-Zig Ziglar

Unless that failure happens to be the failure to stay alive. In that case, it’s sort of a dead-end.

There is no such thing as failure. There are only results. – Tony Robbins

Oh snap Zig! Quit talkin ’bout stuff that doesn’t exist!

You cannot make it as wandering generality. You must become a meaningful specific. -Zig Ziglar

This quote is like an enigma wrapped inside a mystery in the mind of a brain dead junkie. Specifically, what in the world do you mean, Zig? I’m specifically confused.

Success is dependent upon the glands – sweat glands – Zig Ziglar

Clearly Patrick Ewing read this.

“In life you need either inspiration or desperation.” — Tony Robbins

Zig would throw in perspiration with those, Tony.

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Tony Robbins

And Tony Robbins just gave away the new ending to “Where the Wild Things Are”

I’ve been to plenty of places where bad vehicle etiquette is commonplace. Dallas had death-defying freeway drivers. Tulsa has lots of rubberneckers. Abilene was full of people who couldn’t park to save their lives.

Utah is the first place I’ve lived that combines all of these into one. The drivers here are insane – they’ll barge through three lanes, cut you off, then flip you the bird simply for being in the area they decided to fly into. They do this in Dallas, but they’re very methodical about it – they have a plan. In Utah, they drive like Rex Grossman plays football – as if to say, “F@$# it, I’m changing lanes and I don’t care who has to bail out to avoid hitting me.”

It’s strange because they’re usually quite nice outside of vehicles, but give them a piece of anonymity I guess, and they’ll raise hell like most folks.

I’m not bold enough to capture their highway antics – I have a hard enough time dealing with my own car; I can’t handle trying to take snap shots of the crazy bastards around me.

However, I have started a small collection of their parking misdeeds. This place is full of people entirely incapable of fitting in between two lines, whether it be due to their massive vehicles (“Mormon Minivan” typically refers to large ships on wheels, aka the Escalade, Denali, Expedition, etc), or sheer laziness.

I suppose somewhere in the universe theres a poetic element to it, akin to a child that cannot (or chooses not to) color in between the lines. Since most people are stuck behind cubicles and computers for little money and raising children, they can only express themselves in abstract ways – parking obtusely being preferable to taking an art class or learning decoupage I guess.

Here are some recent favorites…

We don’t need no stinking lines!

Here’s a car at Whole Foods. At least this one is out of the way

One lady (yes, I’ve seen her get out of the MakingUpForSmallGenitaliaMobile she drives) who shares our parking lot simply can not park to save her life. In fact, she can’t even do a bad job – she does an awful job. What’s worse is that she parks badly in the good spaces, in the middle of where everyone else tries to park.

Unacceptable. At least midlife crisis Corvette guy parks diagonally in the back of the lot.

Two stalls are not enough for her. She often takes three, and a couple times has ventured into the rarefied air of the four-spacer. Why a lady needs such a massive machine, when she clearly has no concept of how to properly operate it, is beyond me.

From BSCARTER.com

See that? utmatrix.com is run by people who DON’T KNOW HOW TO PARK.

The rare, vaunted Four-Spacer. A remarkable feat indeed.

Obviously I looked forward to this game for a long time, seeing as it was finally a chance for these BYU folks to see a real, nationally-competitive team that plays in a tough conference and boasts some of the best talent in the nation. With OU’s personnel losses after last year I didn’t think it would be a massive blowout, but I fully expected something along the lines of 42-21 or thereabouts.

But we all know what happened. OU laid an egg in what may be their most embarrassing performance since the BCS blowout against USC, in which the guys basically quit after the first quarter. BYU walked away with maybe the biggest win in the history of their school, while OU is left to wonder what, if anything, they can correct before more tough teams come through.

Before I say anything else, I want to give credit to BYU. They came in with great schemes and players that wanted it more. They out-everything’d OU and deserved to walk away with the win. BYU had their own issues heading into the game, with a patchwork offensive line and a really good running back on the sidelines, so their performance was fairly remarkable.

Now, on to OU business.

Every game OU has lost in the Stoops Era has been due to one or two poor units or unfortunate plays. This was often simply a secondary that couldn’t cover anything deep. More recently it’s been naps in the fourth quarter of games. (Again, the USC game is the exception here. Nothing worked in that one)

This game showed things I’ve never seen OU do in horrible, Megatron combinations. How many false starts can you have? And how in the world do you let the play clock run out on the GOAL LINE? I’ve never seen an OU team drop more than a couple passes, but there were at least six in this game. I can’t remember the last time we lost two fumbles in one game.

And the scary thing is none of this has to do with our Heisman quarterback getting hurt (except for the goal line flub, but I pin that on the coaches more than anyone else). The hit on Bradford was clean and he just fell on the shoulder the wrong way; this Coleby Clawson requires no death threats or condemnation. Those still go to the Oregon ref until further notice.

OU did more to beat themselves in this game than I’ve ever seen, and it has to be blamed on the coaches. They weren’t prepared to play, at all, and it only got worse after Bradford went down. Landry Jones, despite looking bewildered, played about as well as one could hope for a freshman stepping into a buzzsaw. Too bad the receivers dropped his passes as well.

The god part of the game was our defense turned in a great performance. To hold BYU to 14 is a great effort on anyone’s part, and I for one don’t blame them for giving up the long drive to put BYU ahead – when you play that much, and get that little support from your offense, you get worn down at the end of a game. Gerald McCoy may be the best defensive tackle in the nation, and I’ve never seen someone at that position do more to take control of the situation than he did.

The safeties were often out of position and Ryan Reynolds is a step slow, but as a unit they still did their jobs. The special teams were great as well. Hell, Tress Way’s punting may have been the highlight of the game for OU.

In retrospect, we were lucky to only lose by one. BYU will have a great year but they’re probably the fourth or fifth best team on the OU schedule. Next year the Sooners open with Cincinnati and Florida State in 2011. If we had been playing either of those teams, or Miami in Florida, it could’ve been a much wider loss.

The problem boils down to this: the U coaches took the same scheme from last year and applied to a mostly-new group of players. Nice thought, but now we know that having Sam and the running back’s back doesn’t make this last year’s team. Maybe by the end of the season they’ll get it and be running on all cylinders (a la the Bomar year) but I think we may see two or three more losses before then.

It’ll be interesting to see what happens for OU this year. Bradford will eventually come back, but his top target (Jermain Gresham) won’t, which means that someone, anyone has to step up as a consistent, trustworthy playmaker. The offensive line needs to come together and settle down; I think Stoops’ decision to abandon the no-huddle will help a great deal.

Two side notes: After the game I immediately received several messages from Mormon friends who saw it as an opportunity to promote their religion. Sorry folks, but I think that’s a low-class move. It’s a football game, not the freakin Crusades, and if God were really behind a team, wouldn’t they win by more than a point?

The only thing I can think to compare it to is this: When Texas Christian beat BYU fairly soundly last year, would it have pissed off LDS folks if people were posting to Twitter about the game with the good ole #christian hashtag, talking about what a great win for Protestants it was? Of course it would.

It’s a football game, folks. A bunch of Mormons beat a bunch of Christians/Muslims/Hindus/Whatever OU players worship on a football field, and outside of a few PR opportunities for the LDS, it means NOTHING to religion. If it does mean something to you, then you might want to rethink your confidence in whatever faith you have.

Irregardless, I pass their zealotry off to simple excitement, and my crankiness due to seeing my team play like crap, and we all moved on.

Again, it’s a football game.

Which brings me to the point number two, and it’s the most important one of all: I heard earlier in the day about a plane crash in Tulsa, and didn’t think much more about it until late at night after the game. As it turns out, I knew the five people who died in the crash, and one of them fairly well.

Suddenly the football, and the idiot religious zealots, and the hurt quarterback, all meant very little. I hate that it takes something like this for me to remember how fragile life is and how little something like a football game can be.

The Lesters are a family I was familiar with and had been around a couple of their kids a few times. They were just one of those special families that emanated love and were good to everyone that came around them.

Same thing with Dr. Ken Veteto. He was one of those guys who spent a lot of time at church and even if he didn’t know you that well, would do whatever he could to lend you a hand. It’s people like him that I strive to be like, and I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to have Park Plaza without him.

God rest their souls, and thanks for letting us share your lives.

Join this Facebook group to share your memories and remember our lost friends.

I write prep football stories for the Deseret News. It’s a cool gig that doesn’t pay very well but allows me to sit around and watch a football game for a couple hours then throw together a 500′ish word recap. I do it because I love the sport and enjoy the high school version of it, but I also do it because it’s good writing practice. My day job rarely requires me to throw together 500 coherent words in 30 minutes. I like the challenge.

I used to be one of those guys that whined about sports media, how they’d get a stat wrong or misspell an athlete’s name. The popular mob for sports fans to be a part of these days is to be convinced that the media have a bias against their team. Yes, I was on the message boards, holding my virtual pitchfork, ready to take down any and all media.

Anonymously, of course.

Then I tried it. I tried being one of “them.”

Needless to say, my tune changed. It’s tough, and I just write game stories. It’s not like I have to follow the team around every day and try to find news for the fans as a beat writer.

One thing that particularly stuck with me is comments. This is the difference between my job and the job of a sportswriter, or any other media member. We live in a world that has shifted to the point where if you’re putting youer real name on something and sticking by it, people are going to HAMMER you. I wasn’t prepared for this. As a PR guy, I deal with my clients and the media, but the criticism aired toward me is almost never public.

I try desperately not to look at the comments on my stories because I know what’s coming. But the site shows the first couple of comments, and of course, I can’t help but peek. That’s enough for me; I never click through.

You’d think the people reading a prep football story would be there to talk about football, but instead they’re actually editors.

“You got the kid’s name wrong!” and “You left out (kid’s name)! He played a HUGE game!” or “You’re an awful writer. This paper used to be so good.” “Whoever wrote this clearly never played football,” is always my favorite.

Here’s the truth that hit me hard a couple years back when I started doing this.

In football there are 22 kids on the field plus referees. Every one of them matters on every play.

There will be well over 100 plays in a typical game. For anyone to encapsulate the entire game and catch every important aspect in 500 words is impossible. Try sitting down and writing out a 500-word story that touches on every key play, every key call and every mess-up. Seriously, make a run at it.

Many prep games don’t have rosters. If your kid’s name is misspelled,I’m sorry. Just take it up with your athletic director or coach. I’m stuck going by the photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy that hangs around the press box and has all the numbers wrong because it was created before two-a-days even started.

And parents, I feel your pain. I really want to include Bobby in my story, but it’s just a game story. Even if he is a .400 hitter in baseball and a straight-A student, if he’s not making a key play or dominating the game then I just don’t have room for him. I’m sorry, but thanks for introducing yourself before the game.

It took me a bit when I started, but I can take the pressure now and sort of thrive on it. My night job is a BLAST. In fact, I take a great deal of pride in putting something out there with my real name on it and knowing that “AwesomeFan1066″ and most folks would never have the guts to do that. It pushes me to become better and have a deeper appreciation for the guys who do this every day, for little pay and heaps of criticism.

Now, sports columnists are a different entity. Rip on them all you want; they’re sadists…

The next time you’re signed in to your local newspaper site under your acronym of “KillerKool69″ and ready to unload on that writer who credited the wrong DB with an interception…well, have at it.You have every right to do it, and no one is going to make you stop.

But one day, you ought to try being on the other side.

It’s actually a LOT of fun.

PR people – you ever send out a pitch that you know it’s money? Where the story/source you offer is just perfect for the editor/publication you’re sending it to, and you know it’ll be perfect for their readers? Of course you do, 99% of your pitches should be like this (the other 1%, long shots. It’s okay, we all have them.)

And you get a response from the editor, agreeing that your story is one they really want to tell. They want to talk to your client, and clients of your clients. Send over product shots and anything else you have. SAMPLES!

So you fire off that email to the client, trying not to sound like you’re bragging, like you do stuff like this every day. It winds up looking like this:

Hello Jimmy,

We pitched your story to (Major Media Outlet) and they have great interest. Would you be able to do an interview with (Famous Media Personality) later this week? I’ve attached some background info on (the outlet) and some talking points.

Thanks,

Sammy

But if you were being honest, it would read:

Dude!

Holy Crap!

You’re going to be in freakin’ (Outlet)! I just made more revenue for your company that you’ve put together in years! How awesome am I? How lucky are you, ya lucky bastard?!

Let’s talk about upping that retainer, brah.

-Sammy

But then, the editor just disappears. No responses to emails or phone calls.

This happens to me almost weekly, and it seems to be getting more frequent. Maybe it’s due to overworked editors or constantly shifting beats. But sheesh, just tell me nevermind or “sorry, it’s a no go.” Just don’t ignore the emails; not after you’ve agreed to work with me.

All I can say is Dude, WTF?

How do you handle this and why does it happen?

Dunno. I guess you just take it in the pants from the client and try again.

———-

Yesterday the wife and I were cruising the hardened, tough streets of Sandy, Utah when an ad came upon the radio. It seems Pearl Jam is coming to town. Hooray!

For a “big” city, Salt Lake sure doesn’t get a ton of good shows. We get the ones who go to 220 cities a year like Kenny Chesney and Green Day, but the ones who don’t tour year-round rarely come here. I’m looking at you Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, and Kings of Leon. (Though some of our smaller venues should be credited for getting good ones such as Sigur Ros, MIA and Sonic Youth)

So to hear that Pearl Jam was coming was obviously a big deal and a no-brainer to attend.

Then they said the date.

Right smack dab in the middle of our Oklahoma trip. For a wedding that was called off.

#$%@#

Then to top it all off, they said the opening act is Ben Harper.

#$@%$#

Thus completes another week of schadenfreude, courtesy of Brandon Carter.

(Note: I wrote this elegant, beautiful post earlier about the same topic, but the WP 2.8 monster eated it. As a result, you get this…)

With Facebook getting a lot of attention for their vanity usernames (which, in my opinion, is fairly useless). It got me to wondering how Facebook would prevent brand-jacking, or the act of a random Joe Schmoe claiming “Disney” for himself.

Twitter has fought the issue recently and a few celebrities have been able to reclaim their profiles. Facebook must have some type of approval filter, because facebook.com/bscarter is un-claim-able.

Then again maybe they don’t because this Brandon Carter was somehow able to grab two vanity names. I’m not bitter though. Like I said, not sure how useful they are.

Which led me down another path…what happens to future Brandon Carters? Will I have my name on Facebook forever? If I stop using Facebook, will my name expire and go back on the market?

Which brings me to the point of this post. A lot of Twitter early adopters grabbed valuable real estate and abandoned it. Check some of these out:

http://twitter.com/bsc (Yes, I’m bitter)
http://twitter.com/man
http://twitter.com/woman
http://twitter.com/hey
http://twitter.com/yo
http://twitter.com/gm
http://twitter.com/usa
http://twitter.com/utah
http://twitter.com/ok

I checked out some of the major brand names, listing off the biggest names I could think off the top of my head, and it seems most of them don’t own twitter.com/(their name).

http://twitter.com/fox
http://twitter.com/microsoft (If that’s the official MS account, call me Francis)
http://twitter.com/generalmotors
http://twitter.com/generalelectric
http://twitter.com/target
http://twitter.com/walmart
http://twitter.com/sony – Just a hunch, but I don’t think that’s Sony
http://twitter.com/3m
http://twitter.com/viacom
http://twitter.com/cbs
http://twitter.com/exxon

And on and on…

As a native Oklahoman, I can appreciate the land-run nature of grabbing usernames, so I don’t have major issues with this. It seems like a good idea to have a company brand scavenger who spends as much time as needed going through sites and registering the company name.

I would like to see Twitter take accounts and toss them back out for general claiming if someone doesn’t use them for a while. I know that would cause issues with identity confusion on occasion, and maybe it wouldn’t be fair to the guy who ends up in a coma…but dangit, I want
http://twitter.com/bsc!

Those of you who know me well have heard me gripe at least once about the demise of the original Iron Chef. The Japenese program aired for six years and eventually sailed across the ocean to the US on the Food Network, where it found the warm and loving space of my bosom.

It’s a fantastic concept: Take two outstanding chefs, give them all the ingredients they could want and state-of-the-art kitchens (or a stadium, natch), throw in a secret primary (usually disgusting ingredient) ingredient and give them one hour to create a full meal.

Beautiful.

You had your Japanese Chef, the Chinese Chef, a French Chef and later (inexplicably as well, since he lost all the time), Italian Chef. If I were young enough, I would’ve had their posters on my wall.

Throw in some Engrish, Godzilla-style cheesy overdubs, a judge who doubles as a gypsy fortune teller and BOOM GOES MY HEART.

Then at some point the Food Network got a little greedy. they dumped the syndicated original and created “Iron Chef America.”

Same concept – the big kitchen, the big name chefs, top competitors, judges, and so on. I do enjoy Bobby Flay, and his matches against Morimoto on the original version are classics. But do not confuse the two shows.

The point of all this is that I have found the original Iron Chef hiding out on something called the Fine Living Network. One Comcast this channel was somewhere on the 18th tier, but it’s on the lower DishTV package I currently subscribe to.

Since it comes on several times a day, tt eats my DVR, but I couldn’t be happier. Now I can spend late drunken evenings enjoying scorpion fish soufflé, truffles a la pig brain, boiled human foot sushi and other oddities that no one eats anywhere.

Seriously. Five years I’ve been waiting on this. My heart is aflutter.

———————

Happy Weekend, folks. Enjoy Meshuggah’s love song