I, Brandon

Happy New Year everybody!

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Whhoo! Glittery MySpace graphics!

What’s that you say, it’s February?

Crap.

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I have VERY LOGICAL reasons why. And they don’t even include the fact that I’m mostly incapable of writing less than 500 words on a given topic.

We’ve been traveling. First we spent the post-holidays in Oklahoma with my family. I got to go to Pete’s Place, which is still awesome.

I was home for about 72 hours, then headed out again, this time to Anaheim to work social media at a trade show for a client. We kicked ass, trending twice on Twitter. That’s a big deal for a craft & hobby company to become such a hot topic in the midst of the Brett Favre/Purple Jesus Vikings meltdown.

On top of the travel, we began a transition to a new email server at my office. Did I mention I’m now the IT guy? You know how hard it is to transition people over, especially when some of them are used to big city-style massive IT departments? We have Macs and PCs, iPhones and Blackberrys, people using Outlook, Entourage, Mail, Thunderbird and Gmail, we have people who are in the office everyday and people who don’t even know what it looks like.

What I’m trying to say is I’ve been working essentially around the clock, and I’m tired of looking at computers.

But it’s my job, and I want to remain employed. Even if I’ve pulled out every one of my hairs and still haven’t solved all the problems.

Okay, so there’s my excuse for not posting for a while. Moving on.

This is the post I had hoped to make at the end of 2009

What a strange ten years.

My initial reaction upon looking back was to say “What a crappy ten years.” I thought about 9/11, wars, the current financial crisis, toiling for two years in the bowels of the Delta Center for basically nothing, struggling to find a job after jumping out of college, the death of my grandfather and on and on…

Then I thought about how good it was. Amazingly good, in all the ways that truly matter. I graduated college, got married and had a son. I’ve advanced in my career as a writer/PR guy/IT director, and have a home plus two vehicles.

I have nothing to whine about.

Now for the part where I stroke my own ego and share what I think was superior from the Aughts

Top Five Albums of the 00s – Not based on some artsy-fartsy trend crap, like Animal Collective, but based simply off of the albums that I listened to over and over again:

5. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
4. Kanye West – The College Dropout
3. Muse – Black Holes and Revelations
2. Radiohead – In Rainbows
1. Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf

Top Five Movies of the 00s – Again, this is what I liked, not what “advanced the art of film making” or “the movie that speaks for a generation”:

5. Pineapple Express
4. All 27 hours of the Lord of the Rings trilogy
3. O Brother Where Art Thou
2. The Kill Bills
1. The Dark Knight

The Best Oklahoma Football Teams of the 00s:

5. 2001 – Ridiculous defense, terrible offense
4. 2008
3. 2003 – Put Quentin Griffin on this team, and they destroy LSU
2. 2004 – Still don’t know what happened in the USC game
1. 2000

Politicians Who Were Corrupt and Will Continue to be:
1. All of them, stop supporting one side or the other. None of them give a damn about you until it’s time to vote. Find ways to work with people for the sake of ousting corruption, not working against people for the sake of standing behind some entitled scumbag “public servant”

Best Food I had:
5. Ganesh Indian here in Utah
4. Jambalaya on Bourbon Street
3. Red Iguana in SLC
2. Crepes in Cancun
1. Ribeyes at Joe Allen’s in Abilene

Things I’m looking forward to in the 2010s:
5. Growing my little business
4. Time Travel and Hovercraft Skateboards
3. The birth of my niece, which will be in May this year
2. By the time the decade is over Nate will be a teenager. Okay, I’m actually not looking forward to that.
1. Another child (not right now, dangit, but eventually)

Favorite screen-cap I snagged in the 00s:

Favorite screen-cap I grabbed yesterday – this kid had just committed to play football at USC and was celebrating on Twitter:

Yaaay Happy New Year!

PR people – you ever send out a pitch that you know it’s money? Where the story/source you offer is just perfect for the editor/publication you’re sending it to, and you know it’ll be perfect for their readers? Of course you do, 99% of your pitches should be like this (the other 1%, long shots. It’s okay, we all have them.)

And you get a response from the editor, agreeing that your story is one they really want to tell. They want to talk to your client, and clients of your clients. Send over product shots and anything else you have. SAMPLES!

So you fire off that email to the client, trying not to sound like you’re bragging, like you do stuff like this every day. It winds up looking like this:

Hello Jimmy,

We pitched your story to (Major Media Outlet) and they have great interest. Would you be able to do an interview with (Famous Media Personality) later this week? I’ve attached some background info on (the outlet) and some talking points.

Thanks,

Sammy

But if you were being honest, it would read:

Dude!

Holy Crap!

You’re going to be in freakin’ (Outlet)! I just made more revenue for your company that you’ve put together in years! How awesome am I? How lucky are you, ya lucky bastard?!

Let’s talk about upping that retainer, brah.

-Sammy

But then, the editor just disappears. No responses to emails or phone calls.

This happens to me almost weekly, and it seems to be getting more frequent. Maybe it’s due to overworked editors or constantly shifting beats. But sheesh, just tell me nevermind or “sorry, it’s a no go.” Just don’t ignore the emails; not after you’ve agreed to work with me.

All I can say is Dude, WTF?

How do you handle this and why does it happen?

Dunno. I guess you just take it in the pants from the client and try again.

———-

Yesterday the wife and I were cruising the hardened, tough streets of Sandy, Utah when an ad came upon the radio. It seems Pearl Jam is coming to town. Hooray!

For a “big” city, Salt Lake sure doesn’t get a ton of good shows. We get the ones who go to 220 cities a year like Kenny Chesney and Green Day, but the ones who don’t tour year-round rarely come here. I’m looking at you Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, and Kings of Leon. (Though some of our smaller venues should be credited for getting good ones such as Sigur Ros, MIA and Sonic Youth)

So to hear that Pearl Jam was coming was obviously a big deal and a no-brainer to attend.

Then they said the date.

Right smack dab in the middle of our Oklahoma trip. For a wedding that was called off.

#$%@#

Then to top it all off, they said the opening act is Ben Harper.

#$@%$#

Thus completes another week of schadenfreude, courtesy of Brandon Carter.

Last night I stayed up late stuffing folders until fairly late.

This is difficult. And tough on one’s fingers.

Based on that experience, I am now scanning over my bio to add the phrase “grizzled veteran.”

Also, I’m willing to bet there is a folder stuffing competition out there somewhere. I say this because ESPN7 is showing competitive cup stacking. Is the “World’s Fastest Ten-Key” coming on next?