Those of you who have followed my various blogs and other publishing ventures know that every year I try to do a little something for Lent. I’m not Catholic, but the idea of self-improvement and appreciation for God through self-denial is totally appealing to me.
I’ve altered from the traditional sacrifices – meat is a must in my diet, particularly seeing as how Lent overlaps my birthday, which historically comes with a meat feast at Rodizio here in SLC. I try to give up things that drag me down majorly, but I also take a little different avenue by adding behaviors that I want to become habits.
My biggest hang-up, maybe in life lately, is negativity. I realize I can never give up negative thinking – there’s a line crossed somewhere after adolescence that exposes one to the real stains of the world, like politics, the emptiness of the pursuit of wealth, and the dawn of the work-10-hours-a-day-then-die life. It would frankly be a little dangerous to look at the world through rose colored glasses all the time, so a little realistic, even pessimistic, viewpoint can be helpful.
But I OD. I make Debbie Downer look amateurish. And I spread it around hardcore. Everyone knows that it only takes one person complaining and whining to get the rest of a room started.
First pledge: No verbalized/expressed negativity. Includes whining, cussing, taunting, poking, badgering, teasing, and on and on… Especially zero snarkasm, which we all know it my favorite.
Obviously I will break down. Old habits die hard. In fact, I usually only make it through about two weeks of Lent before I just give up. But for every expressed negative, I vow to remind myself about a positive.
Second pledge: Keep up a positivity journal to remind me of all the good things I have going, plus rectification for my “pledge one” relapses. Most of these will be posted on my blog, some on my Twitter, some written down in a notebook, 1.0 style.
Second pledge (b): I read somewhere that sitting quietly in positive meditation for even 10 minutes a day has great physiological effects on a person. I’ve tried it before, and it totally works. The problem is actually finding 10 minutes of silence. Late and early I fall asleep, and if I try to do it at work then that just raises a whole stink.
Third pledge: Floss nightly. I’m good for two or three nights a week. Not an every night man yet. Workin’ on it.
Fourth pledge: Don’t be a topper. I’m not a topper by any stretch, but I’ve become surrounded by them. You should hear the stories. One guy’s visit to McDonalds turns into someone else’s visit with the Ray Croc, which forces someone else to chime in about their visit with the Dalai Lama. Even though I’ve hung out with Shaq, I’m not going to try and top them. If my story doesn’t fit, or if it feels gratuitous, then I’ll hold back. Most toppers don’t listen to anyone else; I like to think I’m a listener.
In the past I’ve tried other pledges, like giving up the F word, or not eating pudding, but I realized that I was cheating myself out of real growth by going for low-hanging fruit. I don’t use the F word very often and I don’t eat pudding unless I’m at a Chinese buffet, which I rarely am. I’ve been lucky to avoid a lot of destructive behavioral traits, but I think the few that I have stem from my cynicism and negativity, so I’m taking aim right at the core.
The goal? I want to be fully aware of just how much I’ve been given in life, to recognize the good above all other things, to the point where I’m oblivious to the small things that just don’t matter. Hopefully then I’ll be one of those folks that is able to make people feel better after a few minutes together, the kind of people can stand to spend more than 10 minutes at a time with.
Sorry to go a little Stuart Smalley there on everyone, but my sentiment is genuine.
So, join me in giving something up, even keep me accountable if you like – bsc @ bscarter.com if you’d like to email me. Got something you’re going after? I can help with yours as well.
